For the past few weeks, my circle has been dominated by conversations related to commitment. Even when the topic was not about commitment, we somehow always ended up talking about commitment.
What has been at the back of my mind throughout all these conversations has been one thought. I'm gonna keep today's read very short (or at least try).
Here is the thought:
When the topic of commitment comes up, many of us think about our commitment to others and commitment to things, before we think about commitment to ourselves. And many of us never think about it all.
At the risk of sparking "the great debate", let me ask you this question: When are you planning on committing to yourself? We want to talk about #blacklivesmatter, we want to talk about gender-based violence, we want to talk about #menaretrash. But we can never have meaningful conversations like these ones until you have made a commitment to yourself. A commitment that simply says "I deserve the solutions to these problems."
Disclaimer: I'm not talking to the people who have dissociated themselves from these conversations - the blacks chilling at white tables, the "non-violent" men, the "good men", the "I am not trash" brigade - I'll come for your throats some other time.
I am talking to the people who say and believe that they want to be part of the solutions. And I'm simply saying this: we deserve the best version of you and you will only bring the best version of yourself when you have made a commitment to yourself. When you are committed to you.
Entertain this crazy thought:
Before the person called "you" makes a commitment to the things that "matter" to you, have you made a commitment to "you"?
Here is what I believe, things really move forward at a considerable speed, when they are personal. When it's about me, I put in the extra effort. So if you can commit to "you", whatever "you" commits to, you will be able to follow through - not because you are committed to the thing, but because you are committed to "you".
I want to use an analogy involving Tshepo, Boipelo and penguins, but I don't want you removing yourself from the conversation because your name is not Tshepo or Boipelo, or because you don't like penguins.
So this week, and for the rest of our lives going forward ... I just want one simple thing. I want you to read these words out loud and repeat them to yourself at regular intervals:
I am committed to myself. Not in a selfish sense, but simply because I know that a commitment to myself will always translate to me bringing the best version of myself to the table. Before I make a commitment to anything, I will always make a commitment to myself - because I deserve the best that whatever I am about to commit to has to offer.
Why?
Because I deserve to live in a world where I am not oppressed and excluded from things simply because of my skin colour. Because I deserve to live in a world where my daughter stands a bigger chance of getting educated than getting raped. I deserve to live in a world where men are not murdering the women they claim to love. I deserve to live in a world where men love respect and cherish women, simply because they are humans. I deserve these things, and because these are things I want for myself, I am willing to commit to the solution.
I promised to try and keep this short, so let me stop here. Remember, before you commit to others, commit to yourself.
Bars!!!
Dinner was served🙏🏾