I just realised that I have a funny relationship with the title of today’s blog. I came across this line, this concept, a few years ago while watching a video by Inky Johnson. “Impose your will, because one day you’re gonna run into something a lot tougher than you.”
Over the years, I’ve tossed it around in my head a few times, and applied it a couple of times, putting to use the information I have! The relationship hit a bumpy road recently. And today I spent the day thinking about this phrase.
I’ve been trying to navigate some tricky situations involving people and doing the right things. Doing comes easier than feeling to me, and knowing this has allowed me to successfully navigate life up to this point. It hasn’t been easy, but it got done!
I have a strong belief that if you know what to do, you should do it, regardless of how you feel. I have also learned that most of us, myself included, generally only do things when we feel like doing them. So I’m trying to learn how to align my knowing and my feeling (I’ll tell you if I figure it all out).
My struggle with people, which is actually just a struggle with myself, comes when unprovoked, people come into my space and say “come let us do!” or what seems like everyone’s favourite, “help me do” ... and then they don’t!
Lately what I have been doing, or at least trying to, is imposing my will. It sounds horrible when you say it. So let me share some definitions with you.
To impose is to establish or apply as compulsory; to force (oneself, for example) on another or others.
Will is used to indicate willingness - the quality of being happy to do something if it is needed.
Impose your will - establish and apply as compulsory, the quality of being happy to do something if it is needed. So all I have been trying to do is establish as compulsory, the quality of being happy to do something if it is needed. Not bad right?
Are you happy to do something if it is needed? Yes? Then let’s establish that quality and apply it everywhere where things need to be done, making it compulsory. Surely that’s a good thing right?
So where did my relationship with "impose your will" get bumpy? When people got involved. There’s no nice way to put it. It got messy when people got involved. People have the tendency to not do the very thing they said to you “come let us do”. They will say come let us build this wall, get you on board, excited and ready to go, and then leave you hanging.
So what did I learn? I learned one simple thing today that I am confident will help me navigate these situations even better.
Impose your will on situations, not people.
Impose your will on situations, not people! Apply your quality of being happy to something if it is needed, to all situations where things need to be done.
Move away from being married to people’s ideas and be married to people’s actions. As a doer, hang around doers. When talkers say "come let us", be willing to demand that they do first!
Warning: You will miss out on what looks like good opportunities, but is an opportunity still regarded as a good opportunity if it jeopardises your mental health?
What’s the challenge this week?
Establish the quality of being happy to do something if it needs to be done, and apply that quality as compulsory ... to situations, and not people!
The last thing you want is being stuck in a situation where the right things are not being done but you cannot leave because you are “committed” to the people. To all the problem-solvers out there, if the people are the problem, leave them; if the situation is the problem, solve it.
Impose your will on situations, not people.
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